Just because you’re good at something doesn’t mean you should do it.
Closing No BS Biz School has been an emotional, bittersweet process for me. It has hit my ego hard. It’s one of many examples in my life of doing something that makes no sense at all, but trusting my intuition. And to be honest – this is why people get in their own way – they don’t listen to their intuition because it doesn’t make sense. And when BIG THINGS are happening – it never makes sense until you’re on the other side. I’m not going to understand why I need to do this until it’s done. I’ll look back on this in a year and think, “Yup, that’s why that had to happen, that’s how it led to something even better, even if I didn’t understand it in the moment.”
The last year for me has had a lot of cleanup energy. I’m releasing so much – in my personal life and in my career – shedding so many layers. And the more I release, the more I feel the energy flowing again, and the lighter I feel. There have been a lot of things that have been released that I never expected – No BS Biz School being one of them. That program is one of the things I am most proud of creating, because I have seen the genuinely life-changing transformations of countless clients who have gone through the process. I know there is nothing out there like it. It’s exactly what I wish I had when I first started my business. It’s accelerated business building as well as personal growth, and it cracks people open in beautiful ways. The testimonials from people who go through Biz School are why I do what I do – I mean, testimonials are why I do all of this – it’s people experiencing real results. People have huge personal transformations. They remember their own power. Some of the transformations are honestly unbelievable – it’s the stuff of miracles. In addition to that, Biz School has always felt like something that is just so me, and it made me me. To be honest, my memories of running live rounds of Biz School remind me of fond high school / college memories – those epic nights that made you who you are. That’s what Biz School felt like. I created and ran that program during a time when I was going through one of my own pivotal transformations. In the background, all of my channeling was opening up in new ways – that’s when I started trance channeling, met the Monarch Being, had some of my most unbelievable spiritual experiences. I was transforming every day, and I was on a high as my spiritual path exploded and I was obsessed with my business, my clients. It all felt so good and so right.
I learn just as much from my clients as they learn from me, if not more. Always. That’s why I love what I do – I never get bored, I always keep learning about myself, other people, the world, the universe. What I learned through Biz School was what true transformation looks like. I learned bravery, I learned openness, I learned sisterhood, I learned trust, I learned love. I get really emotional just thinking about it.
As much as I loved it, though, I knew it wasn’t what I was supposed to be doing. And that’s why it was SO hard, and such a process – I was good at it. I knew that it was my skillset – I felt totally in flow, clients were experiencing incredible transformations, it felt easy and effortless on my end – but I knew it wasn’t the mission. It always felt like a transitionary period – and it was. It got me out of nutrition. I don’t think I would have had the courage to make channeling / spirituality my business without that bridge, if I’m being honest. I also know that the people I met through No BS Biz School are some of the most important people I will meet in my life. As I was teaching the course, I knew that – that the main reason why I personally had to make that course was just a doorway in for many of those clients, so many of whom have been so pivotal in my own growth, and who I know will be in my life for a long time.
So my intuition knew that it was just a transition, that it was the bridge as my spiritual path opened up more (which was quite emotional), but my ego wanted to hang on. Whenever I’m out of alignment, or really – not on the mission, I get physical symptoms. Specifically, chronic illness symptoms. My higher self / my guides know how to motivate me. And as someone who is very stubborn and can push through pretty much anything, they get my attention with drastic physical blocks. So my physical body started to shut down, and I knew I had to get out of my own way.
The first transition was to make the program evergreen, which felt like a nice compromise because I love the program SO much and wholeheartedly believe in the content that it felt like it would be a crime to completely get rid of it. I thought about not keeping it open, but I honestly felt like a jerk doing that. I know that people need this information – it’s the direct roadmap I was looking for years ago — who am I to take that down when I know people need that information?
So I left the program as evergreen, and I physically felt much better. But after awhile, things were off. I felt really frustrated. I was having weird symptoms. I knew something was out of alignment. I knew I wasn’t doing something I was supposed to be doing, and I sat with that for months, genuinely confused what it was. What was in my way?
Because No BS Biz School was something just “there,” that I didn’t really spend time on, and I felt so confidently that that information needed to be available to support people, I never even thought it could be the thing holding me back. Eventually, I got the message. I was getting a massage, where I get most of my biggest downloads about my personal life, and my guides were telling me that I needed to let go of everything that wasn’t in alignment with the mission – which they showed me very clearly. Basically, anything not in alignment with being a channel. That finally opened up the space for me to even think of Biz School, and I didn’t want to believe it. I resisted it – it’s not taking up my time or space, why take it down?
It didn’t make sense, but as soon as it came to my conscious awareness, I knew I had to close it. It was like the next chapter of my life I had been craving so deeply couldn’t open until I closed that one. That’s also, synchronistically, when I had a Human Design reading with Erin Claire Jones who brought up that I have the Channel of Cycles (42-53), and mentioned that new chapters in my business wouldn’t open up unless I had a distinct closing of the old chapters. She said to think about any open ends in my business that were still connected to a different chapter, and that those might be blocking the energy of moving into the next phase. So I knew. And I told my assistant we had to close it, and I just kept telling myself not to think about it too much, because if I did, I would talk myself out of it.
It really hit my ego. The more I advertised Biz School again, the deeper the knife cut, because I was reminded of the incredible results people got, I was reminded of how effortless it is for me to talk about business, how natural it is for me to coach in that capacity, and, honestly, how easy to sell. Because it’s tangible, and it works. And it made me second guess myself a lot. Am I making my life harder than it needs to be? Am I making up that I need to get rid of this? Why do I need to close this out if it’s not even taking up any of my time? Why am I getting rid of this when I’m so good at it? Should I go back to business coaching – it feels so easy?
It made me so confused. But I just kept listening to my intuition. I asked for external signs. I just kept getting confirmation to release it, so I kept going, hearing my ego and heart go back and forth, to this day. Biz School officially closed on April 30th, which I chose simply because it was the last day of the month, but I didn’t realize was the eclipse. And with it came a lot of emotions for me, as I intensely felt the closing of that chapter. It was a distinct version of me – I know her, I see her, I feel her, I love her – and I didn’t want to let her go. But I had to if I wanted to transform into who I know I’m meant to be, as corny as it sounds.
One of the biggest lessons I have been reminded of through this process was – just because you can do something doesn’t mean you should. Just because people want you to do something doesn’t mean you should. Just because you’re good at something, doesn’t mean you should do it.
I was holding onto it because I was “good at it” and because people wanted it from me. But that doesn’t mean it was for me.
I share this because, as someone who changes a lot, and who releases a lot, most people don’t see the behind the scenes of that. Most people think I hear my intuition and don’t have any fears come up around it, and that’s not true. I often feel uncomfortable the whole way through, but I act from my heart. Most people know what they need to let go of or change to create the life they want, but they don’t take action on it because they want to understand the why, or how it will work out, before they make a change, and / or because they’re trying to wait until they’re not scared anymore, until they’re “ready,” before they make a move. They want “security.” You could be waiting forever. If I waited until I was ready, I would get nothing done. Like, ever. If I waited until I understood how it was going to work out in the end, I would be waiting forever. The clarity usually doesn’t come through until you’re on the other side. I know it will all make sense to me when it’s supposed to – but you just start with the first step in front of you.
So, yes, it has been emotional closing the program that has been the bulk of my income in recent years, particularly when it doesn’t make sense to my ego why it needs to happen. On a soul level, though, it’s resonance.
And, honestly, this is when letting go is harder, in my opinion. For me, it’s harder to let go of things that are fine, or that are great, than it is to let go of things that are clearly not serving me. Because when I know it’s not serving me, I know it’s going to be a weight lifted off my chest. But when it’s something that doesn’t have a clear negative, the ego can create stories – am I going to regret this? Why release it? What if it turns into something great? It’s FOMO.
The thing is, it’s still taking up space. And if we released all of the “neutrals” in our lives, instead of just the negatives, how much more space would we have for miracles to drop in?
