I avoided this subject for a long time for a number of reasons, the main two being –
- a lot of people are unhealthily, and unnecessarily, obsessed with finding their twin flame, and
- there was a piece of me that didn’t fully buy it. *HOLDS BREATH*
I know, I know.
But the way I work is I really have to have enough of my own personal experience with a spiritual “concept” – either through my own life or through a number of clients – for me to know for myself. Everything’s a game of telephone nowadays, and a lot of people share things they’ve heard but don’t know for themselves, without any discernment.
Anyway, I definitely got that personal experience — but that’s for a separate post. I’m bringing this up now because so many twins are coming into union this year, and because pretty much all I’ve been channeling recently is about twin flames, soulmates, romantic relationships, etc. Prep for the next book.
I don’t control what they want to share… I just listen and relay it. Topics come through at specific times for a reason.
As always, take what resonates and leave what doesn’t. I’m sharing my views on this based on what I’ve channeled & personal experiences / working with countless clients. My beliefs don’t have to be yours and I’m fine with that.
The terms “twin flame” and “soulmate” are often used interchangeably by people who don’t fully understand the concepts, but they’re not the same thing. Twin flames and soulmates are different, as are different types of soulmates. Further, people often use the term twin flame and / or soulmate when what they are really referring to is their life partner – again, different. (Listen to this podcast for more on that topic.)
One of your soulmates could be your life partner, but just because someone is one of your soulmates doesn’t mean they should be your life partner. Similarly, just because someone is your twin flame doesn’t mean they “should be” your life partner. Maybe they will, maybe they won’t. Although, I do think the energy around this is changing — more on that in a sec.
The term “twin flame” refers to when the masculine and feminine aspects of a soul split into two different bodies in one lifetime. This is why you might hear people refer to the “divine feminine (DF)” and “divine masculine (DM)” in the twin flame relationship – one person embodying more of the divine feminine energy, and the other the divine masculine energy. To be clear – this has nothing to do with sex or gender. Twin flames can both be the same sex, the same gender, or different, and the sex and gender doesn’t dictate who carries more of the masculine energy and who carries more of the feminine energy.
That being said, thinking of twin flames as divine masculine and divine feminine I feel is a bit outdated and based more on souls that incarnated generations earlier. Where we’re at right now is quite different…
A twin flame is when you have the same soul. This is different than a soulmate – having resonance with other souls.
Some other themes that come up with twin flames (but not *requirements*):
- noticeable age gap
- some type of big difference in societal positioning, religious beliefs, etc. that could be an obstacle for them to overcome / would make the love seem like it’s not a good idea
- not your usual type
- physically look similar (look at photos from when they’re the same age)
- one twin is often more spiritually awake than the other
When you have a twin flame, your missions are intertwined. This is one reason why so many twins are reuniting right now. People are being CALLED UP to fulfill their missions – no more waiting around. Twins who are incarnated right now did so specifically to come in union to help with the astronomical frequency shift we are going through as a collective / on this planet. If you’re a twin incarnated right now, it’s pretty significant.
With this year specifically (2022) being a universal 6 year in numerology, before our collective 7 year, people are coming together with the partners that will support them during the huge expansion happening / to come. Now is the time! This year is a huge year for twins to finally come together — it’s already happening.
Here’s the important piece – having a twin flame incarnated is relatively rare. It is not “better” to have a twin flame than to not – it’s simply a specific experience. Similar to having a biological twin in this lifetime – it’s a specific experience your soul chose in this incarnation to teach you the lessons you signed up for, to set you up for the experiences necessary for your mission, etc. Not everyone has that same experience because not everyone has the same mission or the same lessons that are meant to be learned. Twin flame love is not better or worse. It’s just very different.
Most people who think they’ve met their twin flame haven’t. Hate to be the bearer of bad news (I’m actually fine with it, though) — but there are a lot of people on the internet talking about their twin flame relationship, when they haven’t necessarily met their twin flame. Hence the popularity of the “false twin flame.” People often think that because they have an intense spiritual connection with someone, telepathy, similarities, and so on, they’ve met their twin flame.
But in a society that is filled with many narcissistic, codependent relationships (let’s be honest…), and where unhealthy relationships are actually modeled in mainstream media as “romantic” — again, let’s be real — and where most people haven’t actually experienced divine love in this human form yet (are you triggered yet?), it’s easy for people to confuse an intense relationship with a twin flame.
Again, having a twin flame isn’t better or worse. In fact, it is such an intense and triggering experience, you might not even want to. It pushes you to your limits when it comes to love, and what that really means. Because it is so intense, soulmate relationships are often much more stable than twin flame relationships, depending on how much personal, emotional, and spiritual work the individuals in the relationship have already done.
I’m explaining this because people read all kinds of things on the internet about twin flames that aren’t necessarily true. First of all, twin flames are not inherently toxic relationships. It depends on the people. I know multiple true twin flame couples (same soul) who never had any of the toxicity. There was no running and chasing. There was no “separation” period.
I also know true twin flames who have had that.
What we have to be careful of is this – someone has an intense connection with someone, beyond anything they’ve ever felt, they start to think that person is their twin flame, they know the “steps” and “phases,” and then they start to create a self-fulfilling prophecy. I’ve seen this with multiple people in my life, who thought someone was their twin flame, and then their actions based on that belief created the experience of the running, chasing, separation, and so on, and then later they found out it wasn’t their real twin flame.
I mean, how many relationships do we know in general that have a runner / chaser aspect? People swipe endlessly. We use terms like “ghosting” and “breadcrumbing” as standard dating lingo — I think that speaks for itself.
Your twin flame is your most intense mirror. It’s YOU, but in another body. Suddenly you can see it so clearly – how you come across to other people, the “annoying” things you do, your light, your shadow, your fears, your unhealthy habits, your wounds — it’s staring you straight in the face.
We get triggered by everyone around us who mirrors for us (because anyone can be your mirror) — getting mirrored by your twin flame is on a completely different level because it is YOU. People don’t even like to listen to recordings of their own voice — imagine seeing your soul in another body. There’s that, plus the intensity, the telepathy, the depth of SEEING, and the physical intensity.
It is of course triggering, but people respond to triggers differently.
You can imagine how two twin flames who have never done any personal growth work, or who have never learned to work with triggers in a healthy way, would engage in unhealthy patterns when they met their most intense mirror. They might run, they might chase, they might become obsessed, they might become codependent.
However, if two people have already been on their own personal growth journeys, have developed spiritually and emotionally, have a higher level of emotional maturity and know how to explore triggers lovingly, the experience will be quite different.
Every twin flame journey looks different.
So, how do you know someone is your twin flame?
My best advice is to detach from whether or not you have one, and to let the universe do its work. Oof – I know that’s a hit to the ego, but here’s the thing. If someone is truly your twin flame, you are going to unite. It won’t miss you. There will be so many wild, undeniable synchronicities, it will be made known. And to be honest, I think that’s much more fun – sit back and watch the universe do its thing.
That being said, to really attract your twin flame in a healthy way —- the most important work anyone can do is on themselves. The more you do your own personal / spiritual growth and development work, your twin flame will come right to you. It’s all about turning inward. The more you heal yourself, the more you heal them. You’re the same soul.
You don’t have to look. You don’t have to force.
If it’s meant to happen, it’s going to.
When you have a twin, you might really struggle with relationships. Feeling like no one will ever truly see you as deeply as you desire, feeling like there is a piece of you that is always missing, but you can’t describe it, feeling like you’re always looking for something but unsure what it is, feeling like no relationship will ever be enough.
Here are some things that people experience when they meet their twin flame:
- Before meeting them, you keep getting signs – that everything is about to change, that big love is coming, death and rebirth symbols, twin flame symbols, twin flame information keeps popping up, lots of angel numbers, etc. You can feel something big is coming.
- You have intense physical symptoms before and / or after you meet them.
- You “know” the second you see them.
- You recognize their eyes.
- They seem strangely familiar. Like you’ve known them forever, like you’ve been waiting for them forever. You’re instantly comfortable.
- You see through their eyes to their soul.
- You literally think, “That’s me.”
- You have a Kundalini awakening when / directly after meeting them. You go through a series of spiritual initiations / awakening moments after meeting them. It’s a catalyst for big personal / spiritual shifts.
- You literally cannot stop thinking about them.
- Telepathic connection with them.
- They take up most of your dream space – you consistently have dreams about them.
- You can feel their feelings in your body. You have random bursts of emotions that aren’t your own, and you know it’s theirs.
- You feel kind of obsessed with them because you can’t stop thinking about them.
- You feel addicted to their vibration and just want to be around them all the time. You’re intensely drawn to them.
- You keep running into them.
- You receive signs about them all the time – could be their name everywhere, people keep bringing them up, a number associated with them, a symbol associated with them, etc. You get reminders about them no matter how hard you try to think about something else.
- You have a ton of similarities – could be your personalities, could be more tangible likes and dislikes, could be similar life experiences.
- It’s like you lived parallel lives. That could mean that the same energies ran through your lives, or you look at that person and see what your life might have looked like had you taken another path – like a different version of you.
- You balance each other out with strengths and weaknesses – like two puzzle pieces fitting together.
- You have very noticeable, uncommon synchronicities with your astrology charts, human design charts, etc.
- You have similarities with dates. Sometimes your twin flame has the same birthday as your best friend, parent, sister, brother, etc.
- You have visions that involve the two of you and a cosmic egg.
- You feel tied to that person like gravity. You would do anything to support them.
- There is no logic to the intensity of the emotions.
- You feel like a crazy person because of the intensity of the connection.
These are just some of the signs people experience, not all of them. Just because you haven’t experienced all of them doesn’t mean they’re your twin flame.
Also, just because you do experience these signs doesn’t mean someone is your twin flame.
I’ve had telepathy, wild synchronicities, intense spiritual experiences, and so on with a few people in my life – one was a karmic soulmate, another a soulmate…the twin flame was different. Without the twin flame experience to compare to, I probably would have thought the karmic soulmate or the other soulmate was my twin.
Remember, everyone’s experience is different. A common theme I see is that the more spiritually awake twin instantly knows and has visceral experiences, but the twin who is less in touch with his / her / their intuition doesn’t always realize at first and takes some time to catch on, or to open themselves up to the experience. If either twin isn’t consciously ready to know, or if a piece of them is resistant to experiencing that depth of connection, it can take more time for them to realize at a conscious level.
On a soul level, they know.
For me, I simply knew. The moment I saw him, I thought, “That’s me.” I immediately saw everything – the origin of the split. I had another Kundalini rising. I just knew. Everything in my life changed after that. And it was in that moment that my ego also took the hit, because I didn’t want to feed into the “twin flame” conversation that I used to think was overblown…but it’s real.
It’s just a heart knowing. No doubt.
And that’s what I’ll say — how do you know someone is your twin flame? You do the work to learn to listen to your soul. To hear your ego, but ask it to step aside and allow your soul’s knowing to come through loudly and clearly.
Because when you can listen to your soul, not just your brain or ego, you’ll just know. And you won’t have to consult the internet to figure it out.