by Christina | May 2, 2022 | THE CHANNEL DIARIES
I’m right in the middle of channeling the second book in the Monarch Being series, and it has come with a lot of surprises. It’s actually turning into a third book that I wasn’t anticipating, because too much information is coming through to all fit in this one.
Background – the Monarch Being told me years ago that they were going to write at least three books through me – one about manifestation, one about love, and one about healing. It has been very obvious to me throughout my life that whenever I’m going to teach about something, I’m going to live it first – those personal experiences connect me to deeper compassion, they give me firsthand stories to relate to people more clearly, and they give me examples to use when explaining any channeled information. I have to live it first, otherwise it’s too easy. ;P
It’s the difference between trying to learn something through reading a book versus actual lived experience. The lived experience is an embodied knowing. If I just channeled everything without living it, would I actually learn it? It’s totally different when the teachings are embodied, and in fact, it’s what allows me to open to channeling information. All of the wild experiences I’ve had in my life are what allow me to be a clear channel – otherwise certain information would get blocked from coming through. And there are still things I know I won’t access until I live certain experiences.
Anyway, my entire life was about manifestation before and during writing & releasing Manifestation Mastery – I learned manifestation from a lot of angles I didn’t expect, but that was a topic I was more comfortable with. I’ve had a lifetime of practice releasing, raising my vibration, manifesting, etc.
After that, I knew the next book was about love, and I got nervous. This is different than before, because I felt very prepped for Manifestation Mastery ahead of time. With this book, I’m going through “school” while I’m channeling it.
I will say – it never ceases to amaze me how the universe works. There was a distinct shift in everything that came into my reality after Manifestation Mastery was released – literally everything was about relationships. All of my clients were coming to me about relationships, my social media feeds were suddenly all about relationships, all of my close friends were going through big relationship transitions, my personal life got turned upside down as I came face to face with new soul connections, and I’ve been pushed to learn a lot of lessons, and see relationships in different ways. We’re also in a 6 year in numerology, so there’s that too. This book is triggering for me – to write, to read, to understand, because romantic relationships have always been my “weakest” spot.
What I mean by that is that I sort of always avoided them. I did not prioritize dating. I often avoided people who I knew wanted to date me, and I didn’t really know why. I’ve had some amazing relationships that I’m so grateful for – they really taught me how to love and how to be loved, and of course taught me a lot about myself. But I also know it’s much easier for me to be single than to be in a relationship. I always felt like I was far too comfortable being single – I watched as my friends always craved finding their partner, and I was never really concerned. We all have our biggest points of growth – for some people it’s family, for others money, for some career, for others friendships, for some health, and others romantic relationships. For many of us, a combination. And I’ve always known that my biggest growth point was in romantic relationships – other things were easier for me to focus on.
About four years ago I decided I really needed to break up that “avoidant” energy, so I started dating a lot. Whenever I can feel something I’m avoiding or have fear around, I like to cannonball right in. It was through that process that I realized the problem – I had already decided it was going to be difficult to find someone who could really see me & meet me where I was at. I realized places where my communication was really poor. I realized that I was dulling myself down to make other people more comfortable. I became aware of fears I didn’t know I had. I realized how scared I was to really let someone in. You know…all the relationship stuff. And I became fascinated by it – understanding relationship dynamics, masculine & feminine energy, communication breaks, the psychology of attraction, vibrational resonance in relationships. It’s interesting to me that I was always fascinated with relationships (for awhile in college I wanted to be a relationship therapist), yet I did not prioritize them myself. I preferred to observe them.
But to channel this book, I had to get thrown into the ring in terms of really understanding myself – because that’s what dating is. The book is about love in general.- the frequency of love, love in friendships, family, romantic life – but it also goes into different types of soul connections – soulmates, karmic soulmates, twin flames, and so on. I have been pummeled with the most bizarre experiences in a short amount of time so I would have firsthand experience discerning the different types of soul connections – it’s one thing to hear it, it’s another to live it.
So love, friendship, relationships, communication – this is all top of mind for me. I’m seeing it play out in so many ways in my own life, and seeing as everyone close to me is having a topsy turvy time period with love as well – all of which I’m learning from.
Anyway, channeling this book has really ripped me open personally. In good ways. But it’s a lot slower for me than writing the last one because I am REALLY moving through it personally, integrating what’s being shared, and having to really step out of my comfort zone and live out experiences as initiations to be able to bring all the information through.
I have a lot to say about it, but here are the things I’ve been thinking about most.
- People spend a lot of time creating stories about people and relationships, and then perceiving and choosing based on those stories. Most of those stories are not true – they are projections from our past, from conditioning, from our fears. Instead of creating stories in our heads, we need to honor the truth of what’s being shown in our reality, from our interactions with that person.
- Let people show you their truth. People tend to fall in love with illusion.
- Most people mistake obligation, commitment, infatuation, and / or codependency for love.
- Relationships break down, don’t work, or don’t even start because of poor communication. This is obvious, but it has become so clear to me that not understanding how to communicate – how to share or to listen – is the reason why so many people get caught up in stories, in projections, in assumptions. People are AFRAID to communicate – we’ve been taught that clear communication is too much, too direct, and that’s why relationships break down. Ask people questions directly. Express what you need. Be clear. All of this wishy washy stuff, questioning what is unknown – we need to COMMUNICATE.
- We have to learn how we want to be loved and be willing to express that. A lot of us are looking for something, but we don’t even know what we are looking for. A lot of us have unspoken expectations about how we want to be loved – people don’t know until you tell them. Know yourself well, and gift someone the key to how you feel loved. Don’t expect someone else to figure out what you don’t even know about yourself. Ask other people how they best receive love.
- Part of love is forgiveness, but sacrificing yourself isn’t love.
- Release expectations around what it will feel like to meet your *person* – it’s often the person you never expected or saw coming. Most people are attracted to what’s familiar, which usually isn’t what’s actually ideal to them.
I have a lot to say about all of these, but that’s where I’m at for now.
by Christina | May 2, 2022 | THE CHANNEL DIARIES
Just because you’re good at something doesn’t mean you should do it.
Closing No BS Biz School has been an emotional, bittersweet process for me. It has hit my ego hard. It’s one of many examples in my life of doing something that makes no sense at all, but trusting my intuition. And to be honest – this is why people get in their own way – they don’t listen to their intuition because it doesn’t make sense. And when BIG THINGS are happening – it never makes sense until you’re on the other side. I’m not going to understand why I need to do this until it’s done. I’ll look back on this in a year and think, “Yup, that’s why that had to happen, that’s how it led to something even better, even if I didn’t understand it in the moment.”
The last year for me has had a lot of cleanup energy. I’m releasing so much – in my personal life and in my career – shedding so many layers. And the more I release, the more I feel the energy flowing again, and the lighter I feel. There have been a lot of things that have been released that I never expected – No BS Biz School being one of them. That program is one of the things I am most proud of creating, because I have seen the genuinely life-changing transformations of countless clients who have gone through the process. I know there is nothing out there like it. It’s exactly what I wish I had when I first started my business. It’s accelerated business building as well as personal growth, and it cracks people open in beautiful ways. The testimonials from people who go through Biz School are why I do what I do – I mean, testimonials are why I do all of this – it’s people experiencing real results. People have huge personal transformations. They remember their own power. Some of the transformations are honestly unbelievable – it’s the stuff of miracles. In addition to that, Biz School has always felt like something that is just so me, and it made me me. To be honest, my memories of running live rounds of Biz School remind me of fond high school / college memories – those epic nights that made you who you are. That’s what Biz School felt like. I created and ran that program during a time when I was going through one of my own pivotal transformations. In the background, all of my channeling was opening up in new ways – that’s when I started trance channeling, met the Monarch Being, had some of my most unbelievable spiritual experiences. I was transforming every day, and I was on a high as my spiritual path exploded and I was obsessed with my business, my clients. It all felt so good and so right.
I learn just as much from my clients as they learn from me, if not more. Always. That’s why I love what I do – I never get bored, I always keep learning about myself, other people, the world, the universe. What I learned through Biz School was what true transformation looks like. I learned bravery, I learned openness, I learned sisterhood, I learned trust, I learned love. I get really emotional just thinking about it.
As much as I loved it, though, I knew it wasn’t what I was supposed to be doing. And that’s why it was SO hard, and such a process – I was good at it. I knew that it was my skillset – I felt totally in flow, clients were experiencing incredible transformations, it felt easy and effortless on my end – but I knew it wasn’t the mission. It always felt like a transitionary period – and it was. It got me out of nutrition. I don’t think I would have had the courage to make channeling / spirituality my business without that bridge, if I’m being honest. I also know that the people I met through No BS Biz School are some of the most important people I will meet in my life. As I was teaching the course, I knew that – that the main reason why I personally had to make that course was just a doorway in for many of those clients, so many of whom have been so pivotal in my own growth, and who I know will be in my life for a long time.
So my intuition knew that it was just a transition, that it was the bridge as my spiritual path opened up more (which was quite emotional), but my ego wanted to hang on. Whenever I’m out of alignment, or really – not on the mission, I get physical symptoms. Specifically, chronic illness symptoms. My higher self / my guides know how to motivate me. And as someone who is very stubborn and can push through pretty much anything, they get my attention with drastic physical blocks. So my physical body started to shut down, and I knew I had to get out of my own way.
The first transition was to make the program evergreen, which felt like a nice compromise because I love the program SO much and wholeheartedly believe in the content that it felt like it would be a crime to completely get rid of it. I thought about not keeping it open, but I honestly felt like a jerk doing that. I know that people need this information – it’s the direct roadmap I was looking for years ago — who am I to take that down when I know people need that information?
So I left the program as evergreen, and I physically felt much better. But after awhile, things were off. I felt really frustrated. I was having weird symptoms. I knew something was out of alignment. I knew I wasn’t doing something I was supposed to be doing, and I sat with that for months, genuinely confused what it was. What was in my way?
Because No BS Biz School was something just “there,” that I didn’t really spend time on, and I felt so confidently that that information needed to be available to support people, I never even thought it could be the thing holding me back. Eventually, I got the message. I was getting a massage, where I get most of my biggest downloads about my personal life, and my guides were telling me that I needed to let go of everything that wasn’t in alignment with the mission – which they showed me very clearly. Basically, anything not in alignment with being a channel. That finally opened up the space for me to even think of Biz School, and I didn’t want to believe it. I resisted it – it’s not taking up my time or space, why take it down?
It didn’t make sense, but as soon as it came to my conscious awareness, I knew I had to close it. It was like the next chapter of my life I had been craving so deeply couldn’t open until I closed that one. That’s also, synchronistically, when I had a Human Design reading with Erin Claire Jones who brought up that I have the Channel of Cycles (42-53), and mentioned that new chapters in my business wouldn’t open up unless I had a distinct closing of the old chapters. She said to think about any open ends in my business that were still connected to a different chapter, and that those might be blocking the energy of moving into the next phase. So I knew. And I told my assistant we had to close it, and I just kept telling myself not to think about it too much, because if I did, I would talk myself out of it.
It really hit my ego. The more I advertised Biz School again, the deeper the knife cut, because I was reminded of the incredible results people got, I was reminded of how effortless it is for me to talk about business, how natural it is for me to coach in that capacity, and, honestly, how easy to sell. Because it’s tangible, and it works. And it made me second guess myself a lot. Am I making my life harder than it needs to be? Am I making up that I need to get rid of this? Why do I need to close this out if it’s not even taking up any of my time? Why am I getting rid of this when I’m so good at it? Should I go back to business coaching – it feels so easy?
It made me so confused. But I just kept listening to my intuition. I asked for external signs. I just kept getting confirmation to release it, so I kept going, hearing my ego and heart go back and forth, to this day. Biz School officially closed on April 30th, which I chose simply because it was the last day of the month, but I didn’t realize was the eclipse. And with it came a lot of emotions for me, as I intensely felt the closing of that chapter. It was a distinct version of me – I know her, I see her, I feel her, I love her – and I didn’t want to let her go. But I had to if I wanted to transform into who I know I’m meant to be, as corny as it sounds.
One of the biggest lessons I have been reminded of through this process was – just because you can do something doesn’t mean you should. Just because people want you to do something doesn’t mean you should. Just because you’re good at something, doesn’t mean you should do it.
I was holding onto it because I was “good at it” and because people wanted it from me. But that doesn’t mean it was for me.
I share this because, as someone who changes a lot, and who releases a lot, most people don’t see the behind the scenes of that. Most people think I hear my intuition and don’t have any fears come up around it, and that’s not true. I often feel uncomfortable the whole way through, but I act from my heart. Most people know what they need to let go of or change to create the life they want, but they don’t take action on it because they want to understand the why, or how it will work out, before they make a change, and / or because they’re trying to wait until they’re not scared anymore, until they’re “ready,” before they make a move. They want “security.” You could be waiting forever. If I waited until I was ready, I would get nothing done. Like, ever. If I waited until I understood how it was going to work out in the end, I would be waiting forever. The clarity usually doesn’t come through until you’re on the other side. I know it will all make sense to me when it’s supposed to – but you just start with the first step in front of you.
So, yes, it has been emotional closing the program that has been the bulk of my income in recent years, particularly when it doesn’t make sense to my ego why it needs to happen. On a soul level, though, it’s resonance.
And, honestly, this is when letting go is harder, in my opinion. For me, it’s harder to let go of things that are fine, or that are great, than it is to let go of things that are clearly not serving me. Because when I know it’s not serving me, I know it’s going to be a weight lifted off my chest. But when it’s something that doesn’t have a clear negative, the ego can create stories – am I going to regret this? Why release it? What if it turns into something great? It’s FOMO.
The thing is, it’s still taking up space. And if we released all of the “neutrals” in our lives, instead of just the negatives, how much more space would we have for miracles to drop in?
by Christina | May 2, 2022 | THE CHANNEL DIARIES
I recently learned that I have Pluto conjunct midheaven – and I won’t pretend to understand all of what that means, but from what my astrologer friends have told me, it makes a lot of sense. Apparently most people never experience that transit because Pluto moves so slowly, and the gist is this – part of my whole life purpose “right now” (for awhile) is transforming. The energy is all about major life changes, making sure my life reflects my true purpose, spiritual transformation, don’t get too attached to anything in my business because big shifts are coming, my soul purpose needs to be expressed in my public life — Pluto being a highly transformative, intense energy, associated with death and rebirth, spiritual growth, and so on. Basically, dramatic changes in my life direction.
I’ve been thinking and talking a lot about ending cycles and starting new ones – I feel this so palpably in my life right now. However, I’ve also always felt like that was the overall theme of my life. I know a lot of people go through periods of death and rebirth, but for me it feels consistent. It has felt like that my whole life, more palpably so in the last 10 years – I’m just always going through a rebirth. With my health, my business, my relationships. It’s exhausting. It doesn’t help that I’m currently living on my Pluto line according to my astrocartography – so I’m really getting hit with that Pluto energy!
Transformation as a way of living, as a way of being, has taught me a lot about detachment. It has forced me to surrender, it has forced me to be adaptable, it has taught me to always trust that if it’s not this, it’s something better. I would not be able to make it through without anchoring into that knowing. My friends always joke that my life is like a reality TV show – so much happens every day. So much changes every day. And that’s one of the reasons why relationships are a little different for me – if I’m out of touch with someone for a bit, it often feels like too much has happened to even catch up. I can barely keep up.
With that transformation energy so alive in my life, I’ve learned to be okay with outgrowing things. Being okay with it doesn’t mean I don’t feel emotions around it, but it means that I accept it and feel my feels. I know how to move through the process, to honor the chapter, to open myself to the next one. I used to make myself wrong for outgrowing people, places, situations, parts of my career – and it led to physical sickness in my body. It led to anxiety and depression. Because I was keeping myself stuck in situations just for the sake of not moving too quickly, making myself feel guilty for outgrowing people, taking on projections, judgments, and conditioning that I was changing too fast — but that’s just who I am. The next chapter of my life has an entirely different flavor, and the guides have explained that my biggest life lessons are all jam-packed into a concentrated period of time, rather than spread out throughout my lifetime like most people. That doesn’t mean I won’t have more life lessons, but I’ve been in the middle of intensive training, so to speak. Hit it all early, and I’m grateful for it. I went through periods where I thought I resented not having “normal” teenage years, a “normal” college experience, a “normal” young 20s experience – but the truth is I really don’t resent it. I was happy to skip ahead even though it was “hard” – I feel like this is the juicy stuff.
Anyway, here’s what I know about transformation as a way of living – because things shift and change so quickly, I have to be very self aware every day and check in on if what was resonant for me before truly is still resonant for me now. The truth is that things can change overnight. Relationships can change in an instant – new people walk in, “old” people walk out. What I was passionate about before, I could be bored with today. So I’ve learned to just flow with it and honor what’s true for me now. I feel grateful, honestly, that I very much get pushed there. I really couldn’t resist it if I tried. Because that’s the thing – most people don’t live the lives they want because they choose to stay where they’re at. To get to the next chapter, we have to close the old one. We have to release what isn’t aligned with the future us. We have to be honest with ourselves about what we’ve outgrown. We have to be okay with things changing. How many people crave a different life, but they’re unwilling to make a change? Most.
So, while many people dread Pluto, we’ve become good friends. And while transformation might be scary for some, I’ve learned that leaning into it is the fastest way to living my desires.
by Christina | May 2, 2022 | THE CHANNEL DIARIES
Channeling my second book was quite different than expected. I wanted to write during the whole thing, but my recent writing weekend wasn’t what I planned. The way I write is just following the guidance – the guides tell me when, and I’m usually guided to where. The timing is important because it’s when a portal is open for the information to come through. It needs to be concentrated writing, it’s not the kind of thing I can work on a bit each day for awhile. It has to be intensive weekends where I’m fully in the vortex.
There will be 3 books that I know about so far that will be in the Monarch Being series – starting with Manifestation Mastery, and the next book is all about love and relationships. That book will be channeled in April & May of this year, and I’m both nervous and excited for what’s going to come through. It feels big. I already know it’s going to trigger me.
However, there are a few other books that need to be written, and they’re a little more esoteric. The Monarch Being books are more accessible to the masses – you don’t have to understand what a channeled text is or even care to get a lot of information out of it – it’s a lot more tangible. The book I’m working on right now, though, is really scribe work. It’s a channeled text from Melchizedek that he’s been telling me about for about a year, and I was honestly surprised when he said I needed to write it this March. I expected it to be after the next Monarch Being book.
Anyway, this book is shorter, and it’s really all ascension codes. It’s powerful. I set aside two weekends for it, and the first weekend took me by surprise. I expected to write most of the weekend, and honestly thought I would finish it, but I couldn’t. The timing of the book overlapped with die-off from a protocol I started…my body has been going haywire through these ascension shifts (more on that in separate posts – a lot to dive into), and a lot has been dying off. When I got to my hotel, I was in so much pain. My physical body was aching, I just had to lay on the floor. My brain felt like it wasn’t working and I had a massive headache. All I wanted to do was sleep, so desperate for sleep, but the pain kept me awake. How was I supposed to channel through that? Channeling requires a lot of energy, and also to allow myself to be fully in surrender and flow. But Melchizedek told me to write that weekend for a reason — it’s never a coincidence.
I ended up spending most of the weekend on the floor, feeling the pain in my body, the stabs in my brain, going in and out of the pain, and communicating with the guides. All around me – a room of white light beings, different ascended masters and angels all there guiding me. Of course, Melchizedek, as it was his weekend. What I found out was the weekend was more of an initiation than anything else. The guides kept telling me not to worry, that the book wouldn’t take me very long, to just be in the process. There was a lot that came through, but essentially it pushed me to total surrender. For awhile now I’ve felt divided. Knowing my mission, but going halfway in as I still clung to some sense of “normalcy” in my life, because I know that going all in will change everything, and that things will get even weirder. Saying yes to scribing this book also meant saying yes to the mission, surrendering to it, going all in, and releasing everything not in alignment with it.
There were a lot of tears. I so desperately want to go all in on what I’m here to do, and to release everything else, but haven’t wanted to let anyone down. I’ve been afraid of what’s on the other side. It was like two clear timelines were laid out in front of me, and it was the moment where I had to pick — stay more “relatable,” do something that still has one foot in the door of normalcy, but always wonder what would’ve happened if I chose differently… or fully commit. Scribe. Channel. Fully surrender to what wants to move through me. Release all judgment. With those two timelines, there isn’t really a choice. I will never pick a timeline where I’m always wondering “what if,” and so I said okay — let’s do this. Just show me what I need to release.
From there it was shown everything that needed to go. Everything that was distracting me. And I started to see programs, businesses, habits, foods, people that all had to go if I want to fully clear the space for what wants to be birthed through. The room filled with ascended masters, many who told me if I said yes, they’d like me to scribe for them. I mean, how can I turn that down? So I surrendered. I said goodbye, I closed the chapter. Saying a full yes, committing to the mission, also means my body needs to move to the next stage of holding a lot more light, and that process is not always comfortable. So my body has been very physically affected. I can only take it one day at a time. And this is one aspect that has come through quite clearly – the physical part of ascension. It can be painful. It can be uncomfortable. You can’t cling to vanity. Are people willing to do that? If on the other side there is something greater? Something to ponder. I’ll share more on the physical process soon, but that was most of what my weekend was. I did scribe, and it was effortless, easy, almost too easy. Melchizedek chuckled at me and told me that was how it was supposed to be. He said, “Compare this state of ease to everything else in your life. Everything should feel this effortless.” And that put a lot into perspective for me. It brings me to tears – how right it feels to channel. How easy it is. Because it’s bizarre! It’s right there! When I put into context the rest of my life, how hard I tried, to focus, to put work in, that’s what I became used to. And having this comparison point made me realize how heavy other things feel. And then I felt the exhaustion on a conscious level, and knew that things had to go. The lightness and the ease are what I want, and so I have to make choices in alignment with that being my reality.
The first weekend looked a lot like laying on the floor crying in my hotel room, talking to the guides, journaling, scribing / writing, and forest walks. I completed about 75% of the book, and as I write this I’m about to start my second channeling weekend. It feels like every time I work on channeling a book, more and more gets unlocked. This weekend should be a bit less emotional. I’m beyond excited to complete this text.
